Sex After Childbirth: Here is Mommy Friendly Tips for Safer Postpartum Sex

Insightful Guide on Postpartum Sex

by Polyne K.

Explore our insightful guide on postpartum sex, addressing common concerns and offering practical tips for a comfortable experience during sex after childbirth. From understanding physical changes to communication strategies empower yourself  to embrace a healthy postpartum intimate life.

Pregnancy is a nine-month journey that causes many changes in a woman’s body.

Among the visible changes accompanying childbirth is the inability to enjoy your lovemaking process, especially in the first 6 weeks after delivery.

These drastic lifestyle changes happen because of hormonal imbalances, biological changes in the mother’s body, and emotional shifts in the presence of a newborn in the family.

Related: 12 Ways To Prepare For Delivery In Your Final Trimester

How Do Pregnancy and Childbirth Affect Libido & Postpartum Sex?


During pregnancy, you will experience an increase in estrogen and progesterone production. These two hormones are essential in supporting your pregnancy. Likewise, they also champion your sex drive.

After delivery, these hormones decline as your body returns to its pre-pregnancy state. This can result in a decreased desire for Sex or low Libido in the first six weeks after delivery.

That is not all.

If you are on exclusive breastfeeding, it may take you much longer for your libido to return. This is because breastfeeding lowers estrogen production, a female hormone responsible for sex.

Additionally, the tiresome motherhood activities, childbirth effects, and baby blues may further affect the desire for your man. I mean, your stitches are still healing, and you are still dealing with the psychological trauma of pushing or C-section incisions. Your mind may not just be there yet.

How Does Delivery Affect Postpartum Sex?

According to research, 83% of women experience sexual problems during their first three months after birth. But, that percentage may continue to decrease as the post-pregnancy blues lessen.

The most common issues with Sex after delivery include;

  • Yoni dryness
  • Yoni looseness
  • Pain during penetration
  • perianal stitches
  • postnatal bleeding
  • pain or Yoni irritation after Sex
  • soreness in your Miss V.
  • General fatigue
  • low libido
  • Psychological issues

Low estrogen hormones after delivery significantly affect a woman’s ability to enjoy making love.

Your Yoni will lack its natural lubrication mechanism that prevents pain during penetration. This leads to irritation, pain, or bleeding after Sex.

During normal delivery, the muscles along the birth canal may stretch to allow the baby to pass. This effect can temporarily leave your Yoni loose thus, you need time for these muscles to recover their elasticity and stability.

Additionally, if you had a perianal tear or episiotomy during delivery, you may need a longer time to recover. Making love too soon can prolong your recovery time and increase your risk of having soreness and infection.

What If You Had a Cesarean Section Delivery?

With a C-Section delivery, the effect is pretty much the same. You will experience low estrogen hormonal levels that affect your Yoni sensation and libido.

Also, remember you’ll be recovering from abdominal surgery. Making love too soon can delay the healing of your incision site or even lead to minor infections.

How Soon Can a Woman Have Sex After Birth?

Honestly, there are no written rules on how soon one can have Sex after childbirth.

But, according to Dr. Masivo of Mateo Nursing College, most women feel comfortable having sex 4 to 6 weeks after childbirth. And this is regardless of whether you have a had vaginal delivery or C-section.

The doctor site issues like postpartum preeclampsia and incision as for the main reasons why new mothers cannot resume sex sooner after delivery.

“At least women need to give themselves ample time to heal from postnatal bleeding, perianal stitches, vaginal dryness, and psychological traumas before embarking on their normal sex life,” He adds.

A recent study conducted by BJOG shows that about 89% of women will resume sex within six months after childbirth. The study, which involved 484 respondents, found that issues like Yoni dryness, pain during intercourse, and bleeding were among the factors that affected women’s ability to resume sex sooner after delivery.

How Does Sex Feel After Birth?

From experience, my answer is simple; it doesn’t feel the same. A recent study shows that Sex after birth is quite complicated due to various parameters.

You may be battling with the negative impact of labor. Your libido is low due to decreased estrogen hormone levels. Your vagina is still healing, thus dry and loose. You may still be experiencing some spotting and, of course, the excreting pain during penetration.

All these factors can make you want to run away from your bedroom, but again that is not the perfect solution.

Why don’t you talk to your partner or maybe give yourself some time until you feel ready?

What Would Happen if You Had Sex 2 Weeks After Giving Birth?

Having Sex too soon, like 2 weeks after giving birth, may increase the risk of postpartum bleeding, delayed vaginal healing, and uterus infection.

This happens because your uterus is still raw during the first weeks after birth; thus, you’re likely to bleed as your uterus heals and regains its normal position. Sex may introduce unwarranted infections and cause more bleeding.

Likewise, your Miss V. may be dry and sensitive; thus, indulging in early Sex can cause more pain and soreness and delay healing.

Is Bleeding During Intercourse Normal After Delivery?

Yes. It may happen in the first few weeks once you embark on lovemaking. This is because, following childbirth, you’ll likely experience postnatal preeclampsia.

You will experience some regular bleeding as your uterus contract back to its pre-pregnancy size. Though the bleeding stops after a few weeks, sometimes you may bleed after Sex due to a uterus that hasn’t completely healed.

Additionally, your Yoni may be drier and more sensitive in the first 6 weeks after delivery.

This happens because of low estrogen hormones, which makes natural lubrication almost impossible when you are sexually aroused. Consequently, you may have experienced perianal tearing or injury, which may inflame your Miss. V or cause temporary swelling. If this is the case, then you will probably bleed during intercourse.

Related: How Best Can You Care For Your Baby’s Umbilical Cord After Birth

Why Can’t I Climax After Having a Baby?

Your sex life after childbirth may not be the same, but that does not mean that you will never enjoy it again.

You only need time.

Sometimes it’s hard even to get aroused, leave alone get that orgasm. This can result from the fact that you are not physically, mentally, and emotionally healed from childbirth effects.

The hormonal changes in your body may not be in favor of your libido. The estrogen is low to pave the way for milk production, a factor that can cause you not to enjoy the lovemaking process.

Additionally, your newly acquired motherhood status may be draining; I mean, breastfeeding and baby blues are no joke, ha!

Related: 11 Effective Ways To Take Care of Your Vagina After Delivery


Tips for Safer Postpartum Sex from All-time mothers

postpartum sex

Enjoying Sex after childbirth can be challenging. According to medics, one should be able to resume normal Sex after the first six weeks, but this is not entirely true.

Some women have reported lacking sexual desire beyond the third month after delivery, yet their partners still demand this noble bedroom act before the lapse of 6 weeks.

So, How do you groom yourself for Sex after childbirth?

1. Check on your physical wellness for Safer Postpartum Sex

First, if you had perineum tears, ensure that your stitches are healed; otherwise, you might go back for re-stitching.

2. Foreplay is crucial for lubrication

Prepare for an exciting lovemaking session by massaging each other or cuddling. Foreplay sessions are essential if you want to give your yoni time to produce its natural lubrication. Also, prolong foreplay so that you may reduce the penetration time. I know you do not want someone to be on it for hours.

3. Work on your psychology for Safer Postpartum Sex

Your mindset can determine whether you will enjoy intercourse or not. During the day, try to connect with your partner through love messages and love talks. You may talk about your postnatal fears or even engage him in your daily schedules. Knowing that your spouse is there for you can help adjust your mental attitude towards lovemaking.

4. Use a Lubricant for Safer Postpartum Sex

Since your estrogen hormone is still readjusting, you may need to incorporate a little lubricant in your Yoni. Ensure you use water-based lubricant instead of oil-based, which can irritate your skin.

5. Practice Kegels

Try tightening your pelvic floor muscles through Kegel exercises. This is not a one-day activity and I guarantee that you’ll not notice any difference in the early weeks but with time, it will help reduce postnatal issues like incontinence and restore your bedroom confidence.

More so, Kegel exercise can help your Yoni muscles to regain strength and sensation. Try building up your stamina by doing longer holds.

6. Try different positions

Sex position can determine whether you will enjoy it or not. Some postnatal sex positions may be painful, especially during penetration. That is why you need to take charge and try out different positions that you feel are comfortable.

7. Create some time to rest

With a baby around, you will be moving up and down during the day. And the last thing you may want to hear during your resting time is an adult asking for Sex.

Honestly, it feels so draining. Thus, I suggest that you get off daytime duties and rest to rejuvenate. This will help you feel refreshed and leave some energy for the night duty ahead.

8. If penetration hurts, stop and change position.

Sex after childbirth can be painful, especially if you have deep penetration. Be sure to discuss this with your partner before making love. If it hurts, you may try changing your position or stop altogether.

9. Still Bleeding, you need more time.

If you spot or bleed after intercourse, this can signify that you’re not healed. Please give yourself some more time to heal, even if it’s past the first 6 weeks. Let your spouse know that our bodies are different. And, continuing with lovemaking without healing can prolong postpartum bleeding and cause psychological torture.

10. Limit the number of times and the duration of the intercourse

It’s obvious your first Sex may occur when you are not ready. Most women agree to it for the sake of their spouses.

Try discussing with your partner your primary concerns. Insist on limiting the number of times, say, once a week, until you feel completely okay with it. Limiting the number of times can speed your healing process and build your momentum by looking forwards to your next appointment especially if he nailed it.

11. Eating Yoni-friendly foods.

Eating foods rich in fatty acids like Omega-3 fats may aid yoni lubrication. The essential fatty acids found in plants like sea blackthorn oil were found to be effective in increasing lubrication in menopausal women. Why don’t you try them too?

Try incorporating seeds like flax, pumpkin, and sesame in your diet for hormonal balancing. This can reduce yoni dryness and enhance blood flow. Additionally, eat oily fish like salmon, tuna, and eggs. These too, are great for your Miss V’s health.

12. Taking pain relievers

If you’re not sure about the condition of your stitches, ensure you have some pain relievers to ease the discomfort that may result from intercourse. However, it would be best if you did not make this practice a habit, as too much reliance on drugs may affect your body. Consult your health care provider if the pain persists.

13. Emptying the bladder

Ensure that you pee before you make love to decompress your bladder. Your mind is trying to balance so many things; the pain, penetration, and controlling the bladder discomfort don’t have to appear on that list.

Also, urinating after sex is essential. Your urine help flushes the bacteria that could enter the urethra, thus reducing the risk of infections.

14. Taking a warm bath

Warm baths are relaxing. Try taking your birth beforehand if you want to be confident and have a relaxed lovemaking session.

15. Take precautions with birth control

According to a study, breastfeeding as your primary birth control method after childbirth can be risky. The Lactational Amenorrhea Method (LAM) is 98% accurate.

What of the 2 %?

Unless you want to conceive “accidentally,” do not be too quick to give in before discussing a suitable birth control method with your health caregiver.

Related: 7 Unwritten Baby Routines That Sustained My Sanity In The First 3 Months After Childbirth

How Can I Make My Postpartum Sex Better?

The best way to make postpartum Sex better is to prolong foreplay and use lubricants. I mean, after delivery, you may be battling with hormonal imbalances. The estrogen hormonal level may be low due to breastfeeding and post-delivery-related issues. This can cause vaginal dryness, which means pain during intercourse.

Increasing your foreplay time and using water-soluble lubricants can help ease the penetration pain by lubricating the Yoni walls and reducing friction.


Postpartum sex is like opening a new chapter of your bedroom life. It does not feel the same. Try giving yourself space and time to heal before engaging in sex after childbirth. Talk to your partner about your fears. Enroll in supporting groups for more insights, and never forget to consult your healthcare giver if not sure.

That is my take, how about you. I love to hear your views and tips in the comment, so do not hesitate to comment and share.

UP NEXT:13 Natural Remedies for Vaginal Dryness During Pregnancy and After Childbirth

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